


Throw My Fears All To The Ground (Will You Hold Me?)

by madasahatter (gaytriangle)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, That ep huh, post 3x15, shameless fluff, we need it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23786497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytriangle/pseuds/madasahatter
Summary: 3.15 is emotionally taxing for Buck as well as Eddie and the entire fan base. The aftermath, though? That’s pretty good.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 83





	Throw My Fears All To The Ground (Will You Hold Me?)

Buck paced up and down the sidewalk outside Eddies place, feeling like a hole was about to open and swallow him up. He’d certainly worn enough of a tread into the concrete. Eddie had gone to school with Christopher this morning despite being very, very sick, and Carla had agreed to watch Chris for the afternoon with little more then a knowing glance (and a couple texts begging him to cut the sexual tension, which he was ignoring). Armed with the knowledge that near death experiences are tiring as hell and a few Tupperwares of Maddies best, Buck had headed over to check in on his friend. Who was taking quite awhile to answer the door. 

“Eddie!” Buck felt the tension drain out of his shoulders when he finally saw Eddie. Leaning heavily against the door, his friend seemed exhausted, still in his pajamas and decidedly worse for wear. Ah. Perhaps his timing wasn’t ideal. 

“Buck? What are you doing here?” A slow, confused smile danced at the corners of Eddies beautiful face, marred only a little by the glimmer of fever in his eyes. Was it ironic that Buck was trying to push someone else into self care? Definitely. Was he going to stop? Absolutely not.

“A little Carla told me you checked yourself out of the hospital this morning man, said you were looking tired. I brought soup.” Buck pushed past Eddie as gently as he could, ignoring the faint noise of protest.

“Man, you didn’t have to-“

“Eddie,” said Buck, settling the mountain containers and turning to his friend. “You nearly died, Eddie. I nearly- Christopher nearly lost you.” Buck crossed the width of the room again in three long strides, pulling Eddie into a hug. “Don’t you- don’t you ever do that again, man. At least not without me.”

Eddie froze, and melted into the hug. For a long moment, neither spoke. “Buck- I-“

Buck blinked, quickly, clearing the unshed tears and hoping his face hadn’t had the chance to go blotchy red. “Let’s just... sit, okay?”

Eddie watched him for a second, standing as still as a statue in his pajamas, the door still ajar. Even looking like death warmed up couldn’t quite dampen Bucks appreciation for the physique on show, although he readily distracted himself from it all by hunting for bowls and spoons. “Okay,” said Eddie at last. 

~ 

Half the stew and the guts of a terrible, terrible film later, Eddie had his head resting on Bucks shoulder, blinking sleep out of his eyes. “I’m, uh, sorry for tearing into you like that, bro. I- I don’t know what I’d do, if you-“

Bucks voice cracked on the last word, and he fell silent. Eddie could feel his chest, rising and falling, halfway to a panic attack already. “Hey. Hey, Buck.” He scooted up slightly on the couch, staring into Bucks familiar face, watching the silent tears slip down his cheeks. He wrapped one of Bucks shaky hands in his, whispering. “I made that choice. We make these choices, everyday. I’m alright. And we saved the kid.”

“And nearly lost you!” Buck whirled around, grasping Eddies face with both hands. “What would the team do without you? What would Chris do without you? What would _I_ do without you!”

“Buck-“ muttered Eddie, surprise and hope warring in his chest. Buck wasn’t nearly finished, though - this had been welling up for quite awhile. 

“Eddie, I cant- I cant do this without you. Everyone I love leaves, or runs away, or _dies_ ”

“Buck,” whispered Eddie. “Oh, Buck.”

Buck let out a long, slow hiss, his breaths calming with the weight of Eddie against him but his eyes resolutely staring at the ceiling. Eddie always liked Bucks eyes. “I didn’t, uh, plan it going this way.”

Eddie laughed, softly, adoringly. He couldn’t have dreamed of today going like this. “When has anything gone to plan, for us?”

Buck was quivering like a leaf, now, like someone at the breaking point with the last inch of their strength, an elastic band stretched a little too far. “Is there an us?”

Eddie ran his hand down Bucks cheek, brushing away tears, and slung his arm around his best friends neck. “For as long as you want there to be.”

Buck laughed, then, maybe a bit hysterically. It wasn’t like hysteria was unwarranted, per se, after the week they had both had. Bobby had mentioned how badly Buck took it, when Eddie was stuck down there. “That’s quite a long time, man.”

Eddie stared into Bucks blue eyes like he could drown in them. “Okay.”

For a second neither of them moved. Then Buck surged forward and wrapped his arms around Eddie, pulling him close. Eddie shut his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, drifted off to sleep feeling like _peace_.

Bonus:

“So does this make you two boyfriends, then?” said Chimney, with unrestrained glee in his voice. Eddie looked to Buck, who glanced away with a tiny shrug.

“Yes,” he decided. “Buck’s my boyfriend.” He rather liked the sound of that, he realised, and judging by the look on Bucks face, so did he. 

“Woo!” yelled Chim, clapping them on the back. “Guys, you’ve just paid for a very expensive date night with Maddie. Couldn’t be happier for you.”

Hen sighed over her mug of coffee. “Glad to see you two happy, but you couldn’t have waited one more week?”

Buck and Eddie looked at eachother, and burst out laughing. It had been a horrible, horrible week, but- the future looked bright.


End file.
